Andrew

Yesterday was the anniversary of my nephew's death. I still have vivid memories of being awakened early in the morning (0200-0300) with my wife sobbing loudly. She had received the phone call that would change our lives forever. My nephew died at 14 days old. I had the opportunity to speak a Eulogy for him at his funereal. In the past year I've been changed in subtle and non-subtle ways.

My outlook on life has changed. I've realized that life is short (sometimes far too short). I've realized that family is important. Most of all, I've realized that the road I was on was leading me in the wrong direction. I've had a radical shift in thinking and my future plans have changed accordingly. I can no longer go through life with a cynical attitude towards everything.

I'm not sure why, and I'm not sure how, but Stephen Jr's death has profoundly changed my emotional makeup. I'm far more emotional now. The very fact that I am emotional at all is a change. I had a harshness that has softened considerably. I still maintain an edge, but I think I've changed for the better. I'm able to empathize just a little bit, and I'm able to appreciate when other people are suffering.

It's been one year since my nephew died. I'm better for it, but I'd still give up everything to have him back. Since that's impossible, my only hope is that he inspires me to do great things.

One day I shall see him again.