Andrew

I've made the decision to start helping with my church's high school ministry. It wasn't an easy decision, nor should it have been. I've always been hesitant to step out and participate in any spiritual leadership position (even minor ones) because I believe God makes great demands of people in those roles.

I should elaborate. It's not specifically the demands that are difficult to bear. It's the responsibility and the potential outcome. If I tell someone "I believe God says X" and I'm speaking as Joe Christian then I can afford to be wrong. The price for being wrong is low. If I tell someone the same thing, but that person looks to me as some sort of leader then the price for being wrong is greater. We are studying James at church right now, and James 3:1 has always lurked in the corners of my mind.

It is closely related to James 1:19. Being slow to speak is one of the things I've always struggled with. God has chosen, for whatever reason, to bless me with an intelligent mind. I'm certainly not a genius and I have known many people in my life who make me feel like an intellectual child, but I still have the capability to learn and retain a large amount of information. I've struggled since childhood with pride and in wanting to tell everyone what I know. I'm sure everyone knows someone like that.

Nobody likes people like that.

Through many years of God working in my life I've learned, partially, to control myself. I still fail on a regular basis and my wife is quick to (rightfully) point it out to me when I do. I'm blessed to have a wife that isn't afraid to point out poor behavior on my part. Over the years I've also learned that sometimes with great risk comes great reward. I've been afraid to take on any spiritual leadership position, even minor ones, because I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, making the wrong impression, or failing. I was also afraid of God's judgment.

In the past year I had to reconsider that belief. What does it say about my faith and my thoughts on God if I was afraid? Fear does not come from God. That's something that my pastor told me when I was speaking to him about my plan to go to law school and work for poor people. I was ready to quit my job and go into the unknown to serve the Lord, and yet I was afraid of teaching the Bible to someone. It was a huge reality check for me.

I'm no longer afraid. I'm not afraid to fail and I'm not afraid to step out. I'm still cautious, because the stakes are high, but I know that if I continuously humble myself and remain in God's presence I will be fine.